You Will Never Be Me by Jesse Q. Sutanto

Author:Jesse Q. Sutanto [Sutanto, Jesse Q.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2024-08-20T00:00:00+00:00

16

ASPEN

Clara’s silhouette is so similar to Meredith’s that it gives me a shock as I near the house. The way she stands, the way she rests her weight on her left foot—it’s so eerily Meredith-like. My mouth goes dry at the sight of her, and I have to remind myself to inhale and exhale as I turn into the driveway. She turns to face my car, raising a hand to shield her face from my headlights. There’s a bundle in her other arm. Luca, I realize, with an ugly feeling in my stomach.

It’s a struggle to keep the smile on my face as I climb out of the car. “Hey, Clara,” I say, not pausing before I walk to the back door and slide inside to get Sabine out of her car seat. My thoughts are racing, my heart drumming a rapid rhythm: stay-calm, stay-calm, stay-calm. I take my time unclasping Sabine’s belts, gathering my thoughts and composing myself. When I straighten up out of the car, with Sabine in my arms, I turn to find Clara right in my face. I almost scream.

Clara’s stare pins me in place. She’s always had an unnerving way of studying people, like she can see through their skin and bones and read the thoughts zipping through their minds. I hold Sabine in front of me like a shield, and she smiles and babbles when she catches sight of Luca.

“Do you want to come i—”

“I haven’t heard from my sister in over a month,” Clara says, and though her voice is cold, I see fear lurking underneath her hard features. “And that’s not at all like her.”

“I’m sorry, Clara,” I say softly.

“You’re her best friend!” she cries, gesturing at me. “Why’re you so—how can you be so—okay?”

“We haven’t—” Emotion catches up with me and I have to pause to gather myself. “You know that we had a falling out and I haven’t talked to her for months. And you said she told you she’s going into a rehab or something, right? A tech-free retreat?”

Clara shakes her head and snorts. “Right, and left her only child with me and hasn’t bothered to check in on him for over a month.” She gives an incredulous laugh. “How crazy is that? No, that’s not at all like her.”

I sigh. “I’m sorry, Clara. I don’t know what to tell you. I wish I could help, but…”

“You know something,” Clara hisses, her eyes filling with tears. “You two were joined at the hip for years. There isn’t a single thing about Mer that you didn’t know. I don’t buy for a second that she never mentioned anything to you.”

“I told you,” I say, in the voice I use when Elea is being particularly difficult, “Mer and I haven’t talked for months. She’s moved on to other friends. Maybe you can talk to them instead.”

Clara takes a step toward me, and there’s something in her body language that is so purposeful, so focused, like a hunter, that I take an involuntary step backward.

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